A Plea to Patriots Fans, Please get some Help

What the hell are some of you guys doing? The amount of Tampa Bay bandwagons I've seen come out of Patriots fans in the past couple weeks and months is absolutely sickening. Some of you guys are celebrating like the Pats just won another ring. You know they missed the playoffs this season right? You know Tom is on a different team now right? Some of the celebrations and outright bragging I've seen from Pat's fans in the past 24 hours is mind boggling. Pats fans continuing to cheer for Brady is like an ex- wife showing up to watch her ex-husband get married to his new supermodel wife. She claims the split was mutual and she's happy for him, but really she hasn't been able to live without him and she just wants to be close to him again, even if it's only for a couple of hours. It's pathetic and yous need to get a grip. Tom is gone, he doesn't want to be with you anymore, and the guy named Bill they chose over him is looking to be a fraud and at times is mentally abusive. He has shown himself to be prone to outburst of anger and he has destroyed all the phones in the house.

This is your reality now. The honeymoon you've experienced over the last 20 years if over. Welcome to the hell that most of the rest of us have been living in for our entire NFL fandom. We saved a warm seat for you over in the corner.


Now I'm no psychiatrist, but I'm here to help walk these Pats fans through the 7 stages of grief that they seem to be struggling with.


The 7 stages of grief are as follows:


1. Shock and denial. This is a state of disbelief and numbed feelings <--- You are here

2. Pain and guilt

3. Anger and bargaining

4. Depression

5. The upward turn

6. Reconstruction and working through

7. Acceptance and hope


Stage 1. Now I understand many Pats fans never believed Brady would leave them like he did. I will say I did not either. You had been together for nearly 20 years, 6 championships, and all around happy times and success together. Then he left you and in turn you are in a state of shock and denial. You can't picture how he is beaching it up in sunny Tampa Bay with your old pal Gronk while you guys are buried in another brutal New England winter. This would upset you, so you'd rather pretend it's not happening for your own sanity. This is completely understandable, but it is not healthy. You need to come to grips with reality. The sooner you do this, the better off you will be in the long run.


I am going to lump steps 2&3 together here. These are totally normal feelings to have here. You just watched your old hero leave you for greener pastures and win a championship, and for the first time it's of no benefit to you. It's only natural to feel anger and guilt in this situation. No one will blame you for these feelings.


Stage 4 is going to be the most difficult one. The depression you feel for probably the next few years will bring you to your knees. You will be staring into the abyss. Your division has legit contenders in it now and you don't even have a QB. This is not the place you want to be in, yet this is where you find yourselves. I can't help you through this stage, you will just have to find a way to cope with it.


Stages 5&6 can be lumped together as well. In a few years time, if you're lucky and the team makes good offseason moves you will see progress. The progress may be small at first, going from 4-12 one year to 6-10 the next, but it will be progress none the less. It's the little victories that will become important to you now. These little victories will pile up and eventually you will see the foundation is poured. The foundation to which you can build your new empire on. If you're lucky again it will have plenty of room for many bedrooms, a multi car garage, a state of the art kitchen, and a giant trophy room. This will reassure you that the process is working and you can make it through the pain.


Lastly we have stage 7, hope. You will now once again have hope that the Lombardi can be yours again one day. You will look and see that the house is finished. The windows are in, the roof is on, and the family has settled in comfortably. All that is left to do is add some shiny hardware to that trophy room.


Personally I hope you all suffer a fate worse than that of the Detroit Lions fanbase. As a Steelers fan I have suffered the worst of your wrath over the last 20 seasons. You showed me no mercy and in turn you will get none from me. I'm glad Brady left you. I'm glad you have a one way ticket to the basement of the league in your hand. Don't let the monsters get you down there, because if they do I'm not coming to help. Who am I kidding, us Steelers fans are probably gonna be right down there with you. Just stay over in your corner of the basement I don't want to even look at you.