GOAT on a BOAT

No person on Earth is living their best life more than Tom Brady is right now. Fresh off his 7th ring the guy is partying it up like we've never seen before. Here's the scene from today's Championship boat parade in Tampa.

This man is really out here tossing the Lombardi around like its a losing scratch off ticket. Of course the throw is right on target too. That throw was honestly further than any throw he made in the Super Bowl. The most preposterous thing about this is that trophy will not float. I guess when you're tossing around No. 7 who cares if it sinks or swims. If I'm driving the other boat I'm taking off ass soon as that trophies on my boat. Tom can hit the buy it now button on eBay tomorrow if he wants it back.

Frat boy Tom is out in full effect. Someone said Florida really changed this man and they're not wrong. Is it just me or does Tom look younger? He really did it, he found a way to reverse father time. He's never gonna stop winning SBs is he? It must be that TB12 diet.

3rd string QB Ryan Griffin escorting a blasted Tom Brady out of the boat parade is the greatest thing I have ever seen. I'm not sure how the alcohol fits into the TB12 diet though. Might have to double his water intake from 5 gallons to 10 tomorrow for detox. Cut out the greens and add some more almonds in for the extra fats tomorrow so the body can recover. As I said before the rich just get richer.


Update


We now have drunk Tom tweets

May God help us all